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celeste1986

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" _% W7 P& k6 C  |教学方式：电子邮件修改 （24小时内回复）

6 A' v) I, n& @' `8 ]6 q5 e, B教学特色：一对一辅导。针对每个学生的特点，个性化辅导。
+ f: y7 S2 `- W) [0 N3 l- z* g; ?针对每个学生提出分析该学生的写作特点，提供适合该学生的词汇库。
使修改过的每一篇雅思作文都达到7分以上的水平。
做到以最有效率的方式迅速提高写作成绩。
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$ D0 L. n8 ?4 A9 M& Q; V% K: L! u
联系方式：celeste_wang@hotmail.com

celeste1986

雅思写作修改实例段落1：

Last but not the least, the loophole of taxation system is also a reason for the big gap between the poor and the rich. By statics （改成statistics）, over half of income tax revenue is from the low and medium income families. There are also many tax invasion cases taking place in many big companies. 这里建议加一句,使你的举例更完整、充实 there are also many tax invasion cases taking place in many big companies, so its owners are building wealth in an illegal way. This could be solved （总是用solved, 换一换,用tackled） by discriminating tax based on the level of income and also by enforcing the taxation laws more strictly.

雅思写作修改实例段落2：

However, on the other hand,(however,和on the other hand重复) some of the advertisements may be lack of reliability. The advertised products targeting the senior and female who lack experience and congestion contain misleading information. This could easily make (建议用：lead them to buy) them buy non-essential items like diet pills and cosmetics. What’s more, advertisements are(can be) detrimental to children's healthy growth. For instance, advertisements about(on) snacks, cyber games, alcohol can be temped aschildren’s immature cognition ability.(as后面不能这样加个名词,改称一个完整的句子,as children’s cognition abilities are immature, temped应该改成 tempted. 正确的用法是someone is tempted to do something.你可以改用名词temptation. ...can be a great temptation for children as…)  More worryingly, children could turn to be snobbish (加上if they watch such advertisements without proper guidance of adults). By this I mean, it is likely that those children who do not wear advertised brands would be discriminated by peers.